What Do You Do?

I just have to wonder sometimes why things happen. My cousin Jamie, whom I was raised with as a brother/sister relationship, has been so angry since his brother died in 2006. I completely understand that, but when I tried to reach out to him he told me to go to hell and crushed me! He has a son that he has NOTHING to do with. I adore that little boy and I am best friends with his son's mother. I am so angry with Jamie and think he is useless, but he has been coming around, back to the old Jamie. We aren't having heart to heart talks or anything, but we have general conversation, speak to each other. I just feel torn because I am still angry and hurt with him, and having any conversation no matter how small talkish it is makes me feel as though I am betraying Emily. Jamie is not welcome at my house because I don't trust him. He has changed and he is still angry and acts really strange and just a lot of other stuff. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I am talking out of both sides of my mouth but I am not. Jamie is a screw up that has no respect for anyone. There has been no loving reunion between us, just small talk and a picture of us at Christmas. Am I in the wrong?

Anyway, yesterday was Hazel's birthday. She is 59. All she could talk about was wanting to be 60. She was being weird. Everyone was just kinda looking at her funny. I got her a Grandmother's bracelet, but I don't think she liked it. It was one of those, oh-thaaaatsss niceeeee... I hope she liked it because I really thought about what I wanted her to have and I thought she would like it.

I am falling asleep as I type so I have to stop in mid-blog. Sorry to do this!