Some Really Sad Days

Well, we lost the greatest man I ever knew. The most kind, gentle, non-judgemental, loving, bravest, amazing, lovable man is gone in the blink of an eye and with him a big part of my heart. I did okay all week, but this weekend it has hit hard and I am so numb. I slept and cried all Friday night and Saturday. Today, I have been just blah. I am kind of just existing the last couple of days and I miss him so badly. I hurt so much. I am angry. Just knowing that he isn't down the street is so weird that I can't explain it. Going to his house is sad and empty to me. I keep waiting for him to roll out of the hallway and say hey; to tell Hannah "Where's Uncle Bear's hug?" I want him back, he was the last piece of my Nanny. In my head I know that he is no longer suffering, but in my heart I am selfish and I want him here! I just don't know what to do. Even Hannah has taken it really hard. She wanted to know if he would have two legs and if he would be young again. She has cried and the other night after the funeral, I told her we were going to Uncle Bear's she said that it wasn't his house anymore because he had died, now it was Aunt Mawmaw's house.

The only humor in this was at the funeral. When Uncle Bear would drink, we knew he had reached his limit when he started singing "He said I'll love you til I die..." The rule was, when you start singing you gotta go home. That was just the running joke in the family. So we thought it only fitting that the first song played at the funeral was "He said I"ll love you til I die..." We cracked up for half of a second and then we all fell apart. It was a really nice service. We would rather have him here though.