My Daddy

I have worked on this post for a while and debated on publishing it for fear of who would read it and what would be taken from it. I just don't care. I know the relationship my father and I have shared and now share and I wanted to put into words how much love I feel for him.

As a little girl if you asked me about my daddy I would probably have told you that he worked all the time. I would have told you that he was grouchy and that he had hairy eyebrows. I guess that is what I would have said because I don't really remember Daddy a lot when I was a little girl for some reason. He was there I know he was. We had our good times like him letting me ride on his motorcycles with him to get ice cream at Sparky's on hot Sunday afternoons. I just don't remember the connection.
As a pre-teen/teenager if you had asked me about my daddy I would without a doubt just rolled my eyes and walked away. I would still tell you he worked a lot and that he was grouchy, and he had weird gray hair in his hairy eyebrows and that would be that. I didn't really know my daddy when I grew up. I mean, I knew him, he lived with me-he was in the house, but we were galaxies apart from one another both with our own pain and crosses to bear and neither knowing how to understand the other. There was so much distance and pain, longing to be close to my daddy for so long. I loved him with "teenage attitude" and everybody knows how topsy turvy that can be, how easily anger, hurt, and uplifted in can become. Just plain facts-I was not close to my daddy and never saw the situation changing.
THings began to change when Daddy stopped drinking, the anger and pain began to disappear, then, when I got married and moved away things melted a little more and Daddy and I got closer still. THe true icing on the cake though, was when Hannah was born! I honestly think that he tries to make up for the poor relationship he and I had through the awesome love he has and shows for her. This magnificent love has amazed me and moved me year after year and brought with it an even closer relationship for my father and I. There is something about picking up the telephone and hearing my father's voice checking on me that uplifts me. Now we are at a really good place with each other in our parent/child relationship. He is not just my daddy anymore I can truly call him my friend, with out a breathe of hesitation!
I know this may seem like rambling but I say all of this because back in December, Daddy had pretty serious, life altering surgery and it made me really take a close look at him and me as a unit. He has become the daddy I always wanted. He is so wonderful to me. We went on a date yesterday morning, Hannah, Daddy, and me, we went to breakfast at his favorite place. There was no earth shattering profound conversation, just being with Daddy made me feel good. I find myself fiercely protective of him now, something I have never felt. I say I love you every chance I get and I hope he knows that I do with every fiber of my being. He has become someone that I want to be. Although he is weak from his surgery and recovery, I find him to be so strong. I just wanted to put into words that I love my daddy so much more than I ever thought possible and I am a better person for having him in my life. I hope we continue to grow closer and we can make up for lost time. Now, if you ask me about my daddy, I would have to tell you he is an awsome man that I admire and yes he can still be grouchy and yes, he still has funny eyebrows, but I love him with all my heart.